Matthew 24:12, 19 – Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold… How dreadful it will be in those days for pregnant women and nursing mothers.
Before the wedding decorations were even put away, the questions started pouring in. “So when are the babies coming?” “How long are you going to wait to have kids?” “When are you guys going to get started?” While most of these questions are meant in good fun, they pose an opportunity for some consideration. Our society tends to assume that once you’re married (or even before), you had better get started on bringing children into the world. While many couples adhere to this idea and develop and grow loving families and respectful children, many other couples jump into this decision selfishly without considering whether or not they have the means to support a child financially and emotionally and whether they are ready, willing, and able to handle the pressures of children.
I intend in no way to attack any one’s decisions in my writing, only to defend my own. My last two posts have been littered with doubt, struggle, and a sense of cynicism mostly because that is what has been surrounding me. Our world has suddenly become a bleak and dark place where hope is difficult to find. My work involves a constant reminder of all that is evil in this world. Day after day, I read, edit, and respond to murder, assault, drugs and associated violence, child porn, and other horrible topics. While I suppose a sense of relief should come seeing those responsible for these terrible acts put away, that response is not often elicited from me. I would rather see those offenders be rehabilitated, and, while they instead rot in prison to the tune of the tax money we work so hard to “donate”, many other are just taking their place.
Fortunately, myself nor my family have not had to personally endure being a victim of one of these terrible crimes. But pessimism comes from many types of situations. Life has been very critical of my giving heart as of late and has handed me a few smacks in the face in return. That being said, all those anxious for little Jen-babies will have to wait. God must settle my heart and I must work to trust in Him again and more importantly find hope in Him again before I’m willing to submit a child into this dark world.
Don’t fear, I haven’t lost all hope for humanity. I know good people, or good hearts rather, do exist. I know our eternal reward for giving is in heaven. I know God promises to always be with us and I know His word instructs me to put my hope in Him all of my days. For now, I will continue to pray for help from God and surround myself with those who exude love and positivity. As I go forward on this path of life, I do trust that God will bless my husband and I with comfort when or if he entrusts us with the blessing (and responsibility) of a child.
Be W.H.O.L.E 